What if you saw your child not as your enemy, but as your mirror, would that change what you're willing to look at? Most parents see a child who's distant, cold, or complaining and think "they're the problem." But what if that distance is reflecting something back to you? When you look in a mirror and see your collar's up, you fix it. You don't walk out of the house like that. So why, when a child shows you something's off, do so many parents refuse to adjust? The resistance often sounds like this, "But the mirror's broken. My kid's seeing me through their own stuff, their partner's influence, their distorted lens." And maybe some of that's true. Maybe the mirror is one of those carnival mirrors that bends things out of proportion. But even in a wonky mirror, you can see something real. Your nose might look huge, but you can still tell if there's something on your face. The question isn't whether the mirror is perfect. It's whether you're willing to look for what's actually there. What does their distance tell you about how they experienced you? What does their coldness say about what they didn't feel safe bringing to you? This goes both ways. Adult children, when you look at your parent, what are you learning about yourself? What old patterns are you still running? "Honor Thy Mother," by Dr. Sarita Lyons is out now where books are sold!
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