You know your sister. You know your niece. So when your niece cuts off from your sister, it feels obvious who's in the wrong. You think you're a fair judge because you know both of them well. But you weren't there. You weren't there for the thousand small moments your niece is taking issue with. You don't know the inner world of that relationship, even if you know both people intimately. You have a piece of the information, not the whole picture. So you shouldn't be so confident that you can fix it, or that you see it clearly enough to persuade anyone. The one exception: if you have zero contact with your adult child (no phone, no address, nothing), and you need to reach them for something real (a health issue, a death in the family, or just to ask if they'd accept a letter), you can ask the person who does have contact to deliver one plain message: "Your mom would like to send you a letter. Are you okay with that?" That's it. No convincing, no explaining. Just the question. Go to the link in my bio for my free workshop on navigating family rifts and estrangement.
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