The first time my husband stayed calm during a hard conversation, I waited for the other shoe. I had spent years with men who went quiet for days, and I had gotten so good at reading the silence that steady felt strange. I think a lot of us learn love from whatever we were handed. If that was inconsistency, then inconsistency starts to feel like the real thing, and someone showing up on time can feel almost boring. It took me a long while to understand that boring was possibly just my nervous system meeting safety for the first time. Years into this marriage, I still get it wrong. There are weeks where we talk mostly in logistics and nights where I would rather scroll than say the small true thing. What is different now is that I know what to do with those weeks. Love takes skill, work, and repair, and the couples I sit with who are doing well are rarely the ones who never struggle. They are the ones who learned how to come back. We also both have people and activities outside this marriage that hold us up, and I think that keeps the relationship healthier too. We also work hard on maintaining our trust. If you are in a relationship where you want to keep learning, with your partner or on your own, the 30 Day Relationship Reset starts soon. Link in bio!💗 This is relationship education, not therapy, and nothing here creates a therapist-client relationship. I read what I can, but I can’t reply to everyone and may not see your message. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area. #relationshipadvice #securerelationship #longtermrelationship #marriagetips #anxiousattachment
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