I saw a video this week with a comment underneath it that stopped me: "Your trauma may not be your fault. Healing is your responsibility." And I couldn't stop thinking about how much this applies to parenting too. So many parents ask me some version of: can it just be my kid's fault? Can they just own it? And I get it, because if it's your kid's fault, you're off the hook. But fault was never a useful question to begin with. Here's the distinction I actually care about. It's not your fault your kid is struggling. It never was. But you're still the one with the power to shift the environment, to try something different, to lead your family somewhere new. That's not a punishment, it's actually a vote of confidence. I trust parents to do this work more than I trust a four-year-old or a fourteen-year-old to do it on their own, and that's not a knock on the kid, it's just true. Where does the fault versus responsibility distinction land for you? Tell me in the comments. Video credit: @whispersofwow
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